Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I thought I knew how I'd write this review, but the more I think about it the more my opinion changes.

Wolverine isn't a perfect movie. It's not a great movie either, but I think I'm comfortable with calling it "decent". When Wolverine hits it's marks it does so well, but those actual moment where it scores are far between.

SPOILERS AHEAD

In a movie that bears the word "Origins" in the title, an obvious starting point for the movie would be the Wolverine 2001 miniseries of almost the same name.

While the ideas explored in the series are touched upon, it's done in a haphazard way that really provides no real background for the character.

In the series we're introduced to a young sickly boy named James Howlett and his friends the orphaned red-haired Rose and son of the groundskeeper Dog Logan. Right from the get go we're set up to believe that the gruff and violent Dog is the boy who will grow up to be Logan, but later it's revealed in a way similar to the movie that it's young James who will grow up to be Wolverine when his powers manifest for the first time when he pops his bone claws.

After this moment in the movie James takes off with his friend Victor who has taken over the role of Dog in the movie, and will ultimately become his nemesis Sabretooth.

We're treated to an amazing opening credit sequence that shows Logan and Victor fighting through the Civil War, World Wars I and II, and Vietnam, before being recruited into the Weapon X program.

This was arguabley one of the strongest points of the film and another missed opportunity to expand upon some history as Wolverine's origin encompasses more than just Weapon X, but that's fanboy griping there.

Here's another one of those few and far between strong points that I was talking about before coming up:

The introduction of Wade Wilson.



As long as there's been talk about a rumoured Deadpool movie, Ryan Reynolds name has been mentioned in the same thought. The man was born to play the Merc with a mouth. And the brief moments we see Wade onscreen are fantastic, but that's just what they are: brief moments. Kinda silly since they built a marketing campaign around the guy.

Wade will be the only member of Weapon X I talk about, since it's at this point in the film that everyone else doesn't matter. Yes, even Dominic Monaghan. Sorry Charlie...

Yeh ghonna die. Again.

But it's after this point that the movie becomes one of those meh moments. I remember the film, I know I saw it, but there's really nothing that sticks out. We're treated to some pretty decent fight scenes, there's a story about the Moon and a Wolverine, because Native Americans have stories that relate to anything, my favorite being about the burrito and the river.

This comes up when you Google Image Search "Burrito River". I'm guessing it's a spirit animal or something.

Wolerine gets his adamantium, more fight scenes and then HOLY CRAP! CAMEO AVALANCHE!

Cyclops, as portrayed by a young Hunter S. Thompson


Emma Frost!


Gambit!

Ok, remember where I said I wasn't going to talk about characters anymore because they don't matter? Well I'm making a big Nahlin's exception.

Gambit was always one of my favorite X-Men. Was it the purple shirt and duster combo? The black and red eyes? The will they/won't they sexual tension with Rogue?

ALL OF THE ABOVE. Gambit was the man.

Gambit could do and then get away with everything. He's tied with Raphael as a cartoon character that could bang his way through your family tree and you'd be cool with it.

Not pictured: Raph having his way with your sister.

So what really let me down about Wolverine was the lack of Gambit. Everything you see in the trailers is about it for him, with a little more thrown in at the end. Understandable since the movie is called WOLVERINE, but man, people have been aching for some Remy LeBeau action since the first X-Men movie. Way to tease us Wolverine, your almost as bad as Rogue...

Look, but SERIOUSLY don't touch.

And while I'd like to end this review with two words, I can't. But's they can lead up to it:

ADAMANTIUM BULLETS.

Yes, adamantium bullets. They can shoot through Wolverines skeleton and result in him losing his memory without killing him. Which really doesn't make sense, how would that matter? Wouldn't his brain just heal? Weapon X has billions laying around to fill people with metal and it's told that they have mind wiping technology, so why not just do that?

Nope. Adamantium bullets.

So if you want a decent start to the summer movie season, Wolverine might be for you. Just don't go in with high expectations for the plot, especially don't try to wrap your brain around the twist with Logan's lost love Silver Fox, you'll be wishing for a magic adamatium-forgetting bullet as well.