Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - E

You know how many REALLY awesome comic book characters there are whose names start with the letter E?

One.

His name is Electro.

Max Dillon worked as a lineman for an electric company, and was all fine and dandy until one day he was working on a line when a freak lightning accident altered his nervous system., which turned him into a living energy capacitor.

Which is pretty bad ass when you consider it. Because who hasn't thought about how awesome it would be to throw around lightning bolts? You'd think this guy would be sitting on top of the world. He can generate and control mass amounts of electricity, theoretically putting him on par with Marvel's Thunder God, Thor:

Verily.

This ability also gives him control over machinery, the power to surf on power lines and wait for it, wait for it...

Yes. Electro can LITERALLY ride the lightning. It's like Lars Ulrich's wet dream come to life. He's also been shown to be able to ALTER THE BIOELECTRIC CURRENTS OF THE BRAIN IN SPIDER-MAN AND CABLE! Yeah, his archenemy and one of the MOST POWERFUL MUTANTS IN THE WORLD.

Oh my God, right? So why does nobody take Electro seriously? Let alone the fact that he constantly gets taken out easily whenever there happens to be water around as well as this little number:

How could you? What I love about most cosplay is that it shows you just how ridiculous most comic book costumes are. But don't worry Electro, I still think you're awesome.

Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - D

It's hard trying to pick a subject for the Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness.

Do I go with a character I like and respect? Or do I go with someone thats so laughable and ridiculous I can't help but love them?

Well, for this installment, I have to go with the latter. I humbly present to you:

D-Man.

What's that you say? Isn't he just Wolverine in Daredevil's old-school costume? Or, isn't that Daredevil with Wolverine's mask on?

Or even better, shouldn't this just be about Daredevil to begin with?

Well, I have to say you're probably right but D-Man or Demolition Man is a special breed of hero. He's well, pretty much a schlub no matter how you look at it.

Dennis Dunphy took advantage of an experimental strength augmentation process to further advance his dreams of becoming a famous athlete. But as is the case with steroids he finds himself too strong for normal sports and is forced into becoming a professional wrestler and partime superhero.

Soon after, Dunphy goes crazy from his drug treatments, attacks Captain America and has a heart attack and retires from both the heroing and the wrestling.

I'm guessing this is a path most superheroes don't follow because after this, D-Man becomes homeless and begins living underground with a bunch of other homeless people.

Yep. He's a homeless superhero.

Since everyone seems to have forgotten about D-Man and I can't find a picture of him, here's Christopher Lloyd who played a homeless theif in 1993's Dennis The Menace film

While Batman and Iron Man have ungodly amounts of money, Aquaman and Namor are Kings of the Oceans and Superman gets to bang Lois Lane, D-Man is subject to eating beans from a can and probably giving handers to truckers for a couple dollars to buy newspapers to read about the exploits of heroes better than him.

And honestly, what's more awesome than that?

Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - C

There are certain characters that develop fan bases for some reasons that I just don't understand. Probably asthetics more than anything, but one such character leads us to the letter C in the Comic Book Alphabet of Awesomeness:

Cable.

Here's the thing that's always bugged me about Cable, and has always irked me about comics in general.

Time travel.

Cable is the son of Cyclops and Jean Grey from the future who after being infected with a techno-organic virus was sent into the future to be cured, then sent back in time to his parents, and then sent back further in time to fight X-Men villains Apocolypse and Stryfe.

Gifted with the gifts of telekinesis and telepathy (which is what it seems like everyone in the Marvel Universe has if they don't have a cooler powers), which aid in him holding back the techno virus that threatens to overtake his body.

But what Cables real power is, is having lots of places to put things and some really big guns.

Cable has come to represent a big part of what comics were in the 90's: big, over the top, testosterone and angst filled yarns that were more focused on grim and grit than story.

This I feel was mostly thanks in part to the guiding hand of Rob Liefeld, a creator known for some rather, well odd anatomy, a failure to draw feet in anything and everyone gritting their teeth like they're trying to push their skull out of their forehead.

All these things culminate into Cable being the poster boy for everything that was wrong with comics in the 90's and has sort of become almost an archetype or at least set himself up for parody as seen in DC's Kingdom Come.

How can a character who is basically a caricature and representative of what is widely considered to be the darkest time for comics still be relavent and more importantly liked?

Well that's what comics do.

There's something about every character that people can latch onto. It might not be apparent to everyone but there is something that people gravitate towards, be it adolescent power fantasy or something entirely different.

Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - B

Here in the second installment of the Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness, we'll explore the second letter of the Alphabet - B.

Which will make this possibly the most badass of the letters, because B is for Batman.

I've been told many times that Batman is a crappy superhero, that he's only a rich guy who decided to fight crime.

Sure that may be true but let's think of other fictional rich people. What have they done that's so great?

What makes Bruce Wayne so great is that he's not just rich, but he's also batshit crazy. Here's a man who has dedicated his life to being a paranoid schizophrenic who beats up other crazy people.

Sure Batman's done a lot of good keeping the revolving door prison system of Gotham City busy, but as has Bruce Wayne he's done other wonderful things. Wayne has set up charities, built hospitals, libraries, parks and also adopted three children, to whom he's tried to give better lives than he had.

Jason Todd gets his skull bashed in by the Joker. With a crow bar.

It didn't always work.

Tim Drake's father is murdered by Captain Boomerang

Ever really.

Dick Grayson gets his

Ok, THAT one didn't happen. But that meme is hysterical.

But still, the fact remains that Batman has kids running around working for him, a fact that hasn't gone unnoticed in the DC Universe, where people belive that Batman run secret orphanages that he recruits Robin's from since they only have a shelf life of a couple months before they're killed in the line of duty.

Yes, people in Batman's own city think he's that crazy.

Now people may compare Batman to other heroes, and here's where the whole "he doesn't have super powers" argument comes in.

But you know what? He doesn't need them.

This is what Batman thinks of your superpowers

Yes. That is Superman getting KTFO by Batman.

Batman is indeed that sweet. While you were probably enjoying the Early Bird at Denny's right now, Batman is kicking a national icon's ass.

How did Batman get to be such a tough guy? It wasn't training with the top martial artists in the world, and honing his body and mind into being the perfect weapons. It was years of having to defend himself in the wake of crappy movies and tv shows.

Holy career paralysis Batman!

Yeah, when it comes to media adaptations Batman has had some winners, but he's also had some really, really terrible media. But how to really tell a measure of a character is the quality of thei fan videos.

And Batman arguably has the best.



Fact.

Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - A

In this first installment of the Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness, we'll not only examine the first letter of the alphabet, (which I won't keep you waiting: it's A) but also perhaps the most misunderstood superhero of them all.

Yes.

A is for Aquaman.

So why does Aquaman get such a bad wrap?

The character has been around since the Golden Age of comics and definitely still has fans, but why does he get no respect?

The answer is simple:

The closest he's been to greatness

The Superfriends cartoon.

It's pretty sad when most of what the population knows about one of the founding superheroes of the DC Universe comes from a cartoon that gave us the Wonder Twins and also Wendy, Marvin and *ahem* Wonderdog.

Fists aren't the only thing they were bumping. Am I right? Am I Right?

Yep

According to Superfriends, all Aquaman was really capable of was riding around on either a jet ski, strapping two flying fish to his feet or getting captured and giving the rest of the Superfriends something to do for 20 minutes.

Not really the best superhero legacy to leave behind, especially comsidering the damage done to Aquamans rep for the following decades.

Ok, maybe I'm being a LITTLE too harsh on the cartoon. It might not help that Aquamans powers aren't too great.

Sure he's superstrong, but the Justice League has like 15 other people to fill that spot.

He has telepathy, which is great and all but kind of useless when all a normal person has to do his hit a button on their phone and can talk to anyone they know.

But he prefers to use this ability when he flexes his royalty and talks to fish, which again could be awesome but is only really helpful when he's you know, underwater. Sure, being able to command the creatures inhabiting almost 70% of the Earth's surface is pretty bitchin', but when the Justice League gets called out to West Detroit?

To make things worse the Drive Thru isn't jet ski accessible

Well I'm guessing it just ends in lots of crying. Also, when underwater I'm guessing talking to fish isn't as awesome as it might sound. Imagine having a conversation with someone whose attention span lasts seconds, and once the conversation turns towards plankton I'm guessing all interest is lost.

Yeah he can swim really fast which kind of makes him the Superman of underwater, until you remember that Superman is pretty much Superman whereever he goes. Also key in the fact that Superman can't be out of water for an hour without starting to die.

Good for rappers and underwater dwelling superheroes

That bad rap he gets? Well it's probably because he deserves it. Way to Aquaman.