Sic Semper Tyrannis

So I've made no attempts to ever hide my love of comic books.

I've also made no attempt to hide my love of music.

So when the two come together, oh man it's a beautiful thing.

Last year, Gerard Way, frontman of the band My Chemical Romance put out a comic book called The Umbrella Academy.

As soon as the miniseries was announced it drew cries of: "he sux" or "that band is for gheys" from every corner of the internet.

Then at the begining of May, publisher Dark Horse Comics, showcased the first story featuring Way's Umbrella Academy in their offering for the 2007 Free Comic Book Day. On this FCBD, comic book stores across the country offer special free issues from each major comic publisher to coax people in to try out the medium, or to simply get scared fanboys out of their comfort zone and try something new.

Shortly after the event the praise started rolling in, and people were no longer calling for Way's head on a stake and actually saying, "hey this was really good". Soon after, the Umbrella Academy #0 became one of the most sought after offerings from that year, and actually goes for $10 online now (keeping in mind that this was a book that was just given out en masse for FREE).

Now the name Gerard Way has new weight behind it, not as someone who sells cds but someone who knows and loves comics. His name is now mentioned alongside Mike Mignola and Grant Morrison in the pantheon of "Weird Stories That Are To Good To Be Passed Up" writers. The Umbrella Academy has even gone as far as winning an Eisner (the comic book equivalent of an Oscar) for Best Limited Series based on fan and retailer voting.

The second Umbrella Academy miniseries debuts this wednesday, a couple months after the announcement that the Umbrella Academy is in development to become a major motion picture. Personally I can't wait, and based on the preview for the new series, it looks to be just as over the top as the first.

For a sneak preview of The Umbrella Academy: Dallas in which the now sentinent Lincoln Memorial is assassinated by a pistol packing statue of John Wilkes Booth, click here: http://www.darkhorse.com/Comics/Previews/15-604?page=1

Meh...

So November 21st sees the release of the newest book to film adaptation: Twilight.

And I really have to say I can't see what all the buzz is about.

I love to read, and I'll pretty much demolish whatever is put in front of me. So when I heard that this "Harry Potter for the Goth set" was the next big thing, I genuinely thought it was something worth hitching my wagon to.

A little backstory about yours truly: I've always been a reader. As a child I demolished the complete Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis and everything by Madeleine L'Engle (even the obscenely dry Many Waters, and yes that is a pun considering that the book revolves around the great flood of Noah).

I'd blow through R.L. Stines Goosebumps in a sitting. Bruce Coville's fun kid-horror books like "The Monsters Ring" or his sci-fi "My Teacher Is An Alien" series posed no threat. And while we're somewhat on the topic, when it came to vampires in literature I'd go for anything like James Howe's "Bunnicula" and the subsequent "Howliday Inn" and "Celery Stalks At Midnight" to Anne Rice's "Interview With The Vampire. "The Vampire Lestat, and "Memnoch The Devil".

Awesomeness between two covers

So in summation: I was a kid on the cutting edge who knew my shit.

So when given the opportunity to sink my teeth into this already established franchise (horrible pun), I leapt at the chance.

I have to seriously ask why?

I'm more than halfway through the first book in the series which the upcoming feature film is based off of, Twilight, and I can't help but be disappointed.

The dialogue is clunky and the exposition is terrible. I don't care about any of the characters because there is nothing to them. We can buy the mystery about Edward Cullen since he is the vampire whose mystery we're supposed to unravel, but when your main character (here being 17 year old Bella Swan) really doesn't do anything, what is there to relate to or feel for?

She's awkward and shy. She doesn't excel in gym class. She moved from Phoenix where she lived with her mom to a town outside of Seattle to live with her dad. There, I've summed up everything you can learn about the character in the first 234 pages of the book in three lines.

The first person style of narration doesn't help the book much either, as it feels more like slowing down the story instead of having you involved in it, like it should. But more-so than anything, the book is just BORING. We're treated to days of Bella going to school, where she pines for a boy who's a dick one day, and slightly less dick-ish the next. It moved so slow that I took a four week hiatus from reading beyond Chapter 7, because I felt like the book had just become a chore.

Granted I picked it up again today and read an additional four chapters since I was stuck sitting in a parking lot for an hour and a half while waiting for someone, but it was more out of necessity than actually wanting to read it (as I strongly considered taking my copy of Michael Chabon's "Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" instead).

You should probably read this

Working at Hot Topic, I'm in the awesomely pendulumic business of peddling pop culture, and I have to say I don't like where Twilight is leading the youth of today. For how much buzz this film is generating, you'd figure the books could cure cancer, world hunger and the economy all at once, while at the same time detailing your car.

While I'm keeping an open mind, and still trying to read the book so I can see the movie when it comes out, the book is a severe letdown. It's hard to understand why this book has done so well for it's self, not just to spawn a full length feature but also print sequels.

A quick internet search reveals that not only was Twilight not too warmly received but the following books all less so. So much so that a leaked version of the manuscript for the fifth garnered such snark from fans that the whole project was shevled.

The Hollywood machine is a hard one to understand though.

J.K Rowling's Harry Potter has been a grand slam on every front since it's release. Both the books as well as their adaptations have done amazingly well and garnered much deserved praise. It's a safe bet that the remaining film relesases will do just as well, both financially and critcally.

A synonym for excitement: Harry Potter

The Lord of the Rings has been a pinnacle of fantasy literature for decades, and after years of lackluster adaptations it finally recieved a worthy mulitmedia heir while in the caring hands of Peter Jackson.

The Chronicles of Narnia, by longtime friend of J.R.R Tolkein and noted author C.S. Lewis are often mentioned in the same breath when it comes to fantastic all-ages reading. But those movies have struggled to find their audience. So much so that Disney is constantly looking at the box office numbers, dvd sales, and licensing to determine whether or not it's worth it to go ahead as planned on the rest of the films in the series.

A scene from Wanted Chronicles of Narnia

A similar story can be told for Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series. While the books have been fantastically received the film it's self didn't perform as well as expected, and as a result the two sequels didn't even get into pre-production.

So what does this mean for Twilight? Well it'll take a few weeks to see where this goes, and I'm not always the best judge of this stuff. I mean, I'm still hoping for a sequel to Lemony Snicket's "A Series Of Unfortunate Events".

Yes. I'm a sucker

Why comics?

It's a pretty straight forward question. Why comics?

With all the different ways and mediums for people to be entertained, why comics?

Maybe it the fact that comics haven't really changed all that much since their start decades ago. Some forms of home entertainment such as music and movies come out with new ways of distribution all the time. It seems like as soon as you dedicate yourself to a format a new one lays right on the horizon. Meanwhile a comic book from today will look almost exactly like a comic book from the 40's.

There's also a complex simplicity to it. A man much smarter than me once said that comics are "words and pictures, and whats better than that?".

Coming soon to a theatre to you: something nothing like this

People have been telling stories with words for a long time, and people have been telling stories with pictures a helluva lot longer. A good comic will have the perfect harmony of writing and art, but a great comic will make each stand out even more on their own.

It wasn't until I got back into comics a few years ago that I realized that they were actually written and drawn by somebody. Moreso than that but there were people whose JOB this was. Soon I started taking note of which writers and artists I liked. Who else have they worked with? What title did they leave their mark on? It's quite similar to how movie fans will follow certain actors or directors career from film to film. Comic fans will follow writers and artists from book to book or story to story.

Speaking of, there are so many stories to tell too. Perhaps one of the biggest misconceptions out there is that: COMICS = SUPERHEROES. When someone asks you if you watch tv, they usually aren't referring to one particular genre. So why should it be the same for comics? That would be like flipping the television channels and seeing nothing but gritty court room drama on every station. It would get old REAL fast.

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Bored yet?

The darkly religious black humor of Preacher, the tongue in cheek politcal mayhem of Transmetropolitan.

The beautiful hauntingness of The Sandman, the comedic sci-fi tragedy of Y: The Last Man.

The familiarity and fun of Fables, the cryptic revolving ambiguity of 100 Bullets.

All of the above are fantastic books and not one of them has superheroes in it. They also all disprove one of the other biggest comic misconceptions: Comics are for kids. While some comics can just be read, enjoyed and put back down, many are complex and layered stories that need to be played out over time. It's not continuity, it's depth. Also just for content sake, while there are lots of all ages friendly books out there, there's lots of stuff out there that would be rated PG-13 and up.

What's he doing to Sue Dibny?

So why comics? I think a better question would be why not comics?