Waiting to “Get a Life”...

Today we present an article by guest (and soon to be regular) columnist John. Scope it out:

As a boy that was raised by TV, I have been impacted by many a show. The strange and wonderness (a word I just made up) of Chris Elliot's show Get a Life have haunted me for the past 19 years.

This show was very popular in the Wetherwax household, (maybe nowhere else) as my father (Dad), sister (Sis) and I (Me) loved it. Get a Life ran from 1990-1992 and aired 35 hilarious episodes; My fav being the day the 30 year old paper boy (Chris Elliot) gets the submarine he ordered from the back of a comic book when he was 10. Then he and his father put the sub together only to get trapped inside. (A must see)... Oh yeah you can’t!

Because Fox only released 8 episodes on 4 video cassette tapes through Rhino Home Video. Then back in 2000 before DVD’s were the shit, they rereleased those 8 episodes on 2 DVD sets (that are now out of print). Why can’t I get this show on DVD when every store has bargain bins full of shitty DVD sets?

"Oh hey, I just bought the third season of Monk. You get anything John?"
"NO! Cause Get a Life ain’t for sale! And Monk fucking sucks Mom!"
"Oh John, you need to Get a Life!"

Yes I do.

Another Batgirl Tease

DC has posted the cover to Batgirl #2 by artist Phil Noto over at their blog, The Source. Still no hints as to who may be filling in the costume with the top believed and rumoured contenders are:

Cassandra Cain - The young mute daughter of assassin David Cain, who took over the role of Batgirl from the Huntress during the Batman crossover No Man's Land. Cassandra has had her ups and downs since taking the rol, but she's been in the cape ever since.

Stephanie Brown - The young daughter of Batman Z-list villain, The Cluemaster, Stephanie created an alter-ego for herself as The Spoiler, who worked alongside Robin, and after Tim Drake briefly left the Robin mantle, she functioned as the first in continuity Girl Wonder until she was fired from the role and was brought back once again as The Spoiler.

Barbara Gordon - The original Batgirl, who after a run in with the Joker was shot in the spine and left paralysed. Unable to fulfill the role of Batgirl anymore she sought to use her knowledge of computers to keep Earths various heroes in contact and informed as the Oracle.

Misfit - The young Charlotte Gage-Radcliffe, with the abilities of teleportation, superhuman strength was taken under the wing of Barbara Gordon who alongside her group the Birds of Prey act as a surrogate family to the orphaned girl.

Wendy Kuttler - Daughter of Oracle's villainous counterpart the Calculator, Wendy the caretaker of the Teen Titans headquarters was recently attacked and left paralysed from the waist down.

This teaser comes a month after DC's previous Batgirl cover reveal back on May 8th.

While the cover of the Batgirl #1 (which releases in August) seems to be the same costume worn by Cassandra Cain only with the patch covering the mouth removed, the most recent tease looks like a more updated version of the costume that Barbara wore during her tenure as Batgirl. Which fuels the rumours that Gordon will be once again taking over the role, although that still seems like a long shot since, well she can't move without a wheelchair.

The List - 6/10/09

Been a while since there's been any new article, let alone a new List, but here's hoping that things will be a little more frequent now.

Here's my picks from this week's new releases:

BATMAN #687 - In this special epilogue to BATTLE FOR THE COWL, new BATMAN writer Judd Winick rejoins the Bat Family! This 40-page issue explores the final moments of the Battle for the Cowl as the new Batman learns that winning the Cowl comes at a high price! Witness the new Batman taking to the streets of Gotham City for the first time! Putting a new man inside the Bat-suit was the easy part – now the fun begins! Guest-starring Superman and Wonder Woman, this issue is a must-read for any Batman fan. - This issue seems like it has a lot going for it, from Dick Grayson's first meeting with Wonder Woman and Superman wearing the Cowl, an additional 8 pages of story, an extra $1 on the price tag and the return of Judd Winnick as writer (which depending on your point of view that could be a good thing or a bad thing).

The Flash: Rebirth #3 - At last, the answer to the question that's plagued DC fans for decades: Who's faster, Superman or The Flash? Call your bookie and bet the farm, because you've never seen a run like this – and if speedsters keep dying at the pace they're going, you might never see another one again! - While it's been a decent story so far, I feel like a lot of the wind was taken out of this series' sails by having Barry Allen return in the pages of the love it or hate it Final Crisis event. While the mini has picked up the pace a bit (Flash puns are always the easiest to work in), it still lacks the punch that John's and Van Sciver's Green Lantern: Rebirth mini had a few years ago.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #37 - The penultimate "Emerald Eclipse" chapter is upon us as the breakout on Oa leads to vast devastation and death across the planet. As the War of Light rages, do Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, Kilowog and the rest of the Corps have the willpower to quell the riot and overcome the napalm-spewing Red Lanterns and the fear-spreading Sinestro Corps? - Both Green Lantern titles have become the books to watch going into this summer and GLC has been firing on all cylinders as it juggles multiple plotlines like the riots on Oa, the Natu/Sinestro relationahip, as well as the assault on Daxam, all the while the racing towards DC's Blackest Night mini-event.

RED ROBIN #1 - Writer Chris Yost (New X-Men, X-Force) and artist by Ramon Bachs (Civil War: Front Line) kick off a brand-new ongoing series right here with "The Grail" part 1 of 4! Following the aftermath of BATTLE FOR THE COWL, a new Batman watches over Gotham City. But not everyone is ready to give up on the old one. Someone believes that Bruce Wayne may still be alive…and that someone is Red Robin. But who is wearing the Red Robin costume, and why is he traveling the globe looking for a dead man? Whoever he is, he's not alone in his search! - From solicitaion info and his general lack of appearing in any of the other Bat-Family titles it's safe to assume that previous Robin, Tim Drake, will be assuming a new mantle with this title now that Damian Wayne has taken on the roll of Robin. Tim has always been a fantastic character and this new direction looks to be interesting while still keeping within the tone of the character. Meanwhile Yost has become one of the strongest and possibly most overlooked writers in Marvel's stable, so hopefully his work at DC will continue to be as strong.

TITANS #14 - Starting this issue, we begin one-shot "Day in the Life" stories. And this issue stars Cyborg! In the grueling aftermath of the "Deathtrap" arc, Vic Stone must face the very teammates he feels he let down big-time. How he deals with it will shock you! - Cyborg has always been one of those characters that never really did anything for me, and so far the TitansFreshman has been alright, so this one may surprise me.

title has been rather hit or miss (mind you it was a Judd Winnick launch). Hugh Sterbakov writes this one and his work with other young characters in Top Cow's

COVER GIRLS OF THE DC UNIVERSE: WONDER WOMAN - My big collectible for the month, this statue sees the launch of a new collectible series designed by cheesecake or "Good Girl" artist Adam Hughes. Love his style or not, you've got to admit, the guy knows what he's doing.

Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I thought I knew how I'd write this review, but the more I think about it the more my opinion changes.

Wolverine isn't a perfect movie. It's not a great movie either, but I think I'm comfortable with calling it "decent". When Wolverine hits it's marks it does so well, but those actual moment where it scores are far between.

SPOILERS AHEAD

In a movie that bears the word "Origins" in the title, an obvious starting point for the movie would be the Wolverine 2001 miniseries of almost the same name.

While the ideas explored in the series are touched upon, it's done in a haphazard way that really provides no real background for the character.

In the series we're introduced to a young sickly boy named James Howlett and his friends the orphaned red-haired Rose and son of the groundskeeper Dog Logan. Right from the get go we're set up to believe that the gruff and violent Dog is the boy who will grow up to be Logan, but later it's revealed in a way similar to the movie that it's young James who will grow up to be Wolverine when his powers manifest for the first time when he pops his bone claws.

After this moment in the movie James takes off with his friend Victor who has taken over the role of Dog in the movie, and will ultimately become his nemesis Sabretooth.

We're treated to an amazing opening credit sequence that shows Logan and Victor fighting through the Civil War, World Wars I and II, and Vietnam, before being recruited into the Weapon X program.

This was arguabley one of the strongest points of the film and another missed opportunity to expand upon some history as Wolverine's origin encompasses more than just Weapon X, but that's fanboy griping there.

Here's another one of those few and far between strong points that I was talking about before coming up:

The introduction of Wade Wilson.



As long as there's been talk about a rumoured Deadpool movie, Ryan Reynolds name has been mentioned in the same thought. The man was born to play the Merc with a mouth. And the brief moments we see Wade onscreen are fantastic, but that's just what they are: brief moments. Kinda silly since they built a marketing campaign around the guy.

Wade will be the only member of Weapon X I talk about, since it's at this point in the film that everyone else doesn't matter. Yes, even Dominic Monaghan. Sorry Charlie...

Yeh ghonna die. Again.

But it's after this point that the movie becomes one of those meh moments. I remember the film, I know I saw it, but there's really nothing that sticks out. We're treated to some pretty decent fight scenes, there's a story about the Moon and a Wolverine, because Native Americans have stories that relate to anything, my favorite being about the burrito and the river.

This comes up when you Google Image Search "Burrito River". I'm guessing it's a spirit animal or something.

Wolerine gets his adamantium, more fight scenes and then HOLY CRAP! CAMEO AVALANCHE!

Cyclops, as portrayed by a young Hunter S. Thompson


Emma Frost!


Gambit!

Ok, remember where I said I wasn't going to talk about characters anymore because they don't matter? Well I'm making a big Nahlin's exception.

Gambit was always one of my favorite X-Men. Was it the purple shirt and duster combo? The black and red eyes? The will they/won't they sexual tension with Rogue?

ALL OF THE ABOVE. Gambit was the man.

Gambit could do and then get away with everything. He's tied with Raphael as a cartoon character that could bang his way through your family tree and you'd be cool with it.

Not pictured: Raph having his way with your sister.

So what really let me down about Wolverine was the lack of Gambit. Everything you see in the trailers is about it for him, with a little more thrown in at the end. Understandable since the movie is called WOLVERINE, but man, people have been aching for some Remy LeBeau action since the first X-Men movie. Way to tease us Wolverine, your almost as bad as Rogue...

Look, but SERIOUSLY don't touch.

And while I'd like to end this review with two words, I can't. But's they can lead up to it:

ADAMANTIUM BULLETS.

Yes, adamantium bullets. They can shoot through Wolverines skeleton and result in him losing his memory without killing him. Which really doesn't make sense, how would that matter? Wouldn't his brain just heal? Weapon X has billions laying around to fill people with metal and it's told that they have mind wiping technology, so why not just do that?

Nope. Adamantium bullets.

So if you want a decent start to the summer movie season, Wolverine might be for you. Just don't go in with high expectations for the plot, especially don't try to wrap your brain around the twist with Logan's lost love Silver Fox, you'll be wishing for a magic adamatium-forgetting bullet as well.

Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness - D

It's hard trying to pick a subject for the Comic Book Alphabet Of Awesomeness.

Do I go with a character I like and respect? Or do I go with someone thats so laughable and ridiculous I can't help but love them?

Well, for this installment, I have to go with the latter. I humbly present to you:

D-Man.

What's that you say? Isn't he just Wolverine in Daredevil's old-school costume? Or, isn't that Daredevil with Wolverine's mask on?

Or even better, shouldn't this just be about Daredevil to begin with?

Well, I have to say you're probably right but D-Man or Demolition Man is a special breed of hero. He's well, pretty much a schlub no matter how you look at it.

Dennis Dunphy took advantage of an experimental strength augmentation process to further advance his dreams of becoming a famous athlete. But as is the case with steroids he finds himself too strong for normal sports and is forced into becoming a professional wrestler and partime superhero.

Soon after, Dunphy goes crazy from his drug treatments, attacks Captain America and has a heart attack and retires from both the heroing and the wrestling.

I'm guessing this is a path most superheroes don't follow because after this, D-Man becomes homeless and begins living underground with a bunch of other homeless people.

Yep. He's a homeless superhero.

Since everyone seems to have forgotten about D-Man and I can't find a picture of him, here's Christopher Lloyd who played a homeless theif in 1993's Dennis The Menace film

While Batman and Iron Man have ungodly amounts of money, Aquaman and Namor are Kings of the Oceans and Superman gets to bang Lois Lane, D-Man is subject to eating beans from a can and probably giving handers to truckers for a couple dollars to buy newspapers to read about the exploits of heroes better than him.

And honestly, what's more awesome than that?

I can't Stay Silent Anymore - A Watchmen Review/Discussion

After more than a month there's something I need to say...

Watchmen wasn't about big blue radioactive dong.

Almost every single conversation I've had about this movie has centered around the glowing nether regions of one Dr. Manhattan.

Now did Zack Snyder HAVE to show the irradiated Jon Osterman's cash and prizes to the extent he did? Not really.

But the whole reasoning behind it was lost on a majority of people I feel. Throughout the storyline it's shown that Dr. Manhattan is losing his humanity. As the years go by he cares less and less for the day to day affairs of what we consider life.

Why would a being beyond human morals and understanding care about what was hanging below his belt?

All the humanity had been drained from his being. Manhattan was so far gone nothing mattered to him, so I'm sure throwing on a pair of pants in the morning was the least of his worries.

But moving on, I found Watchmen to be a fantastic film. While not sticking straight to the original story, it was indeed true tonally and managed to dwell within the moral grey area needed to convey the story properly.

Every member of the cast did a fantastic job of bringing their characters to life.

Patrick Wilson created an incredibley likeable and more importantly, a relatable Nite Owl. As Watchmen's most (arguably) human character, Nite Owl serves as the voice of reason and our entry point into the world of Watchmen, and as such Wilson did a fantastic job.

Jakie Earle Haley played Rorshach just as psychotic and lost in himself as portrayed in the comic. Haley brought a depth to the character that couldn't be beat, and ultimately delivered some of the most powerdul acting in the entire picture.

Jefferey Dean Morgan's Comedian was stradled the line between hero and unlikeable bastard quite well, and as the centerpoint for the entire picture, he carried the role quite well.

Matthew Goode was really standout as Ozymandias, a character who never clicked with me in the book, but on the screen really worked well. Veidt was played so well, you knew what he was doing was wrong but you just couldn't help but agree with him. Again, Goode dwelled right where he needed to in that grey area.

Malin Akerman's Slik Spectre was just kind of there. While I'm afraid that Ackerman delivered the weakest preformance in the cast, after further review of the original series I couldn't help but notice that throughout the entire thing Silk Spectre is just kind of there on her own, and the only thing she really does is act as a tether from the original Sally Jupiter to the story. So I guess in that case, Ackerman played the part fantasticly.

Billy Crudup however was phenominal. Playing disinterested might seem easy, but to sound so distant as Dr. Manhattan, I cant imagine the chops necessary to pull it off.

On the whole I found Watchmen to be spectacular.

Dare I say, I think it was far better than The Dark Knight.

But I'm afraid the almost 2 hour running time, R rating and all the talk of glowing man bits may have scared away potential viewers. Which is a shame, because just as Watchmen the comic served as a deconstruction of the books of the 80's, so does the film of todays genre work.

It's sad to see such a great film suffer over a 60% drop off in revenue from the first week to the second. And then a further 60% drop from the second to the third. And I know box office numbers mean nothing in the times of dvd and direct tv, but its still sad that more people havent experienced the awesomeness.

But luckily those that have can hold a discussion about the morality plays of Adrian Veidt, and I guess at the very least the hypnotic swaying of Dr. Manhattan's "project"

Dollhouse - Review

Joss Whedon has had his share of hits and misses, or rather I should say: Whedon has had bad luck with television.

Now don't get me wrong, Buffy the Vampire Slayer can be considered a success. The show based on the movie of the same name thrived for five seasons on the WB until it was cancelled with it's 100th episode. It was then picked up for two seasons by the fledgling UPN network, where the show held it's following until Whedon pulled the plug.

Angel, Buffy's vampie-beau spinoff held on for five seasons on the WB (which is surprising since two of them were after it's lead-in show Buffy had been moved to the UPN), until the show was canned.

Whedon's third foray into television, Firefly didn't even last a season. Out of 14 episodes filmed only 11 were shown, and the episodes that did make the air were shown out of order. But thanks to strong DVD sales Firefly resurfaced as the motion picture Serenity, and gave fans some closure and answers to some of the programs questions.

Which leads us to the now with Whedon's first venture into tv since Serenity's cancellation in 2002: Dollhouse.

While Whedon fans hold their breath waiting for bad news about this show, Joss himself remains hopeful noting that "these are different people, they didn't do to me what was done to Firefly". Noting that hopefully this changing of the guard will usher in a new era in the so-called "Whedonverse".

Dollhouse focuses on an organization which uses humans known as Dolls to preform various "engagments". These Dolls can be imprinted with memories, skills and personalities for whatever job they are to take on next. Once the job is completed, the Doll is mind-wiped and put away in the Dollhouse until the next time they are needed.

The Dollhouse as well as the show it's self dwell within the moral gray area, making this more akin to Firefly (people doing what they need to get by, good or bad) than Buffy (the greater good). In the first episode we're given a taste of this as lead character, Echo (played by Whedon favorite Eliza Dushku) takes on two separate engagements. The first being to accompany a young man for the weekend to see just how much fun they can have in three days, with the second being act as a negotiator for a kidnapping. What we as viewers are treated to is a main character who can and will be a different person in each episode.

It seems the main plot will revolve around Echo as she slowly becomes aware of her surroundings and what is going on around her. As this was only the pilot, we're treated to possible subplots that may unfold over time such as what lead Echo to become part of the Dollhouse, a federal agent named Paul Ballard running in circles trying to figure out anything he can about the seemingly fictional Dollhouse, as well as a rouge Doll named Alpha who is on the loose.

While the show may draw inital comparisons to J.J Abrams Alias, it will definitely stand out on its own. Supporting characters such as Topher, the scientist who programs the Dolls with for their engagements, Dr. Saunders the scarred female who cares for the Dolls post- and pre-engagement, and Boyd the Handler who watches out for Echo during her missions, seem to be willing to carry the brunt of the storytelling across the arcs as Echo herself has a limited knowledge of just what's going on around her.

Dollhouse looks to be another intriguing exploration of character in true Whedon fashion, here's hoping we'll get to see it through.

Dollhouse airs at 9pm Eastern on Fox, following Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The first episode "Ghost" and subsequent episodes can be viewed on Hulu the day after their premire.